Why I Sing: Jared Gunnerson

An Inside Job: by Jared Gunnerson, choir president

Over the years, I have come to appreciate the intimate settings of many of our concerts. We often find ourselves in close proximity to the audience. When I first began with UCA, I dreaded this closeness. I was in fear of the nakedness and aloneness of my voice. However, my fear was dissipated by the musical embrace of the rest of the singers and I became something more than I ever could be as an individual musician.

What followed was eight years of bliss. When I left UCA to move to Las Vegas for work, I couldn’t have imagined the feelings of loss I would experience. It was as though I had lost a close friend or companion, or a part of my soul had died. I longed for the day when I could return to UCA. Nearly a day didn’t pass during my six year hiatus that I didn’t think of UCA. I had to watch from afar, while UCA continued to perform, make new recordings and travel (to Europe no less!) without me.

I was worried about rejoining after a six-year hiatus. I wasn’t worried about how out of practice I was or how difficult rehearsing and performing would be. I was worried I would be overcome with emotion during our first rehearsal and not be able to hold back the tears. However, to my amazement, I only felt an incredible sense of peace and wholeness, as though my soul had finally been restored. I looked around the room during our first rehearsal, wondering if it was real. For a moment, it seemed as though I had never left. Time had no meaning. The pivotal moment that really brought me back home to UCA was Barlow’s introductory statements after our first piece at the fundraiser. Actually, it was his long pauses between his statements, as he tried to collect himself, that brought me back into the reality of what UCA has been over the past 20 years, what it is today, and what it means to me the musician, we the ensemble, and they the audience.